If you’re a married man trying to hookup with lonely housewives, you’re no doubt already thinking about how to get away with it. Getting caught could destroy your life, so you’ll do anything in your power to make sure that doesn’t happen. However, if you’re a single guy trying to meet lonely housewives, you’ve got to remember that it is every bit as important that the woman’s husband doesn’t find out as it is for married men to keep their affairs hidden from their wives. You definitely don’t want to deal with the fallout of an angry husband finding out you’re screwing his wife. Not only will it bring your fun and games to a grinding halt, depending on the guy, it could lead to more than drama, it could be dangerous. Below I will teach you everything you need to know to have an affair and not get caught!
There are a lot of details to think about when it comes to keeping your sex life a secret, and it can be easy to accidentally overlook one small thing and end up getting caught. These steps outline the top five things that most guys forget about that lead to them getting caught when they’re involved in affair dating. Memorize and implement them, and you’ll get away with it every time.
#1 – Don’t Leave a Credit Card Trail
This is the most common way that men get sloppy. When you’re paying for memberships to bored & lonely housewife sites, hotel rooms, drinks, or any other affair-related expenses, do not use your credit card. If the married woman you’re seeing ever pays for anything while you’re out, remind her that she shouldn’t use hers, either. If you can pay cash, pay cash. For memberships and hotels you’ll need a card number, but you can easily get around this by purchasing prepaid credit cards. These cards are available in almost every drugstore and grocery store in the world, so there’s no excuse not to take this simple step.
#2 – Untraceable Alibis
If you tell your wife you’re working late enough times, eventually she’s going to pop up at your office, call your boss, or do other sleuthing that reveals that you’ve been lying. If you say you’re going out with a buddy or visiting your sister, she’ll have no trouble finding out that you’re lying. Choose solitary activities that are harder for her to track. You’re feeling super stressed out, so you’re going to go for a long bike ride to work it out of your system (pack a lunch and water bottles so it looks convincing). You’re going to hike (no cell reception). Or maybe you’re going to go for a nice long drive. Whatever. As long as it’s hard for her to trace your whereabouts and there’s no one who can verify that you weren’t doing what you said you’d be doing. Again, remind your hookup that she should be equally careful about where she says she’s going.
#3 – Erase All Traces
Make sure that you’re clearing out your browser history every single time you use your computer for affair dating activities. You should also have it locked down, but wives can get clever about their snooping, so erase it all, every single time, even if you’re locking it religiously. There will always be that one time you forget to lock it or that she cracks the password.
#4 – Burner Phones
You can delete text messages and voicemails, but you can’t erase calls from your phone bill. If your wife is even the slightest bit suspicious that you’re cheating, the bill will be one of the first things she checks. Get a prepaid burner phone and either keep it out of your house entirely, or make sure that the ringer is off and it’s well hidden. That way, if she gets twitchy and checks your cell bill, it will be squeaky clean, and she’ll assume she was just being paranoid.
#5 – Don’t Talk Your Way Into a Hole
When people get nervous because they know they’re telling a lie, they have a habit of digging their own grave and climbing in. In the case of cheating, think of every excess detail and elaborate story you tell to cover your tracks as another shovel full of dirt. The more details you make up, the more details you have to remember and try to keep straight. And ironically, since your stories will probably be much more detailed than they would if you were recalling a true event, the more you say, the less believable the story becomes.
Doing these things will go a long way towards helping you get away with your affair, but there’s one last thing you should do… Remember to relax and have fun. Not only will you enjoy your affairs more, you’ll also be less likely to get caught! Nothing sets off a spouse’s radar like nervous, on-edge behavior. When you’re on edge, it’s like screaming, “I’m up to something, and I’m terrified that you’re going to catch me!” So stop screaming. When you come home, kiss your wife, grab a beer to help you unwind, and kick back. When you’re relaxed and at ease, it will put her at ease, and you’ll fly right under that pesky radar.